Ted

2012 has been a good year for cinema in my opinion…until I decided to waste an hour and forty minutes watching this drivel, which turned out to be worse than my already extremely low expectations.

Brought to you by Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy), Ted stars Mark Wahlberg as John, a man who as a lonely child wished his teddy bear could talk. Thanks to the apparently magical evening upon which he made this wish, the bear (named Ted and voiced by MacFarlane) since became an actual walking, talking teddy bear. However, the friendship begins to take its toll on John’s relationship with girlfriend Lori (played by Mila Kunis).

The first problem with this film is the thin plot. To make up for this we must suffer through lengthy sub-plots including a party scene with Sam Jones of Flash Gordon fame and another involving Ted being kidnapped – which then leads to John and Lori miraculously solving all their issues, having been reunited while searching for Ted.

What makes this barely there story much worse though, is the humour. A child’s toy that uses bad language and smokes a bong does not equal comedy gold. The jokes are so predictable they are actually quite offensive, and only reaffirmed why I despise Family Guy so much. Ted might be amusing for a five year old if it wasn’t for the adult themed ‘humour’. Also look out for the generic what happened to the characters next style ending – it’s awful.

2/5

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